But how 'bout Pope Scola?

This is conclave humor.

Two boys were born in the same month, one in Ireland, one in Italy. The Irishman was Michael McConnell, the Italian, Angelo Secola. Both of them were destined for the priesthood and beyond.

They both went to seminary in Rome and both were brilliant in their studies. But everyone knew that Angelo had the edge over Michael. They both got plum assignments when they returned to their home dioceses, not only having parishes, but also working in their chanceries. Everyone knew they were episcopal material, and everyone was right. But those who knew them both always said Angelo had the edge.

When the time came, they were both moved to cardinatial sees and were created cardinals at the same time.

So the Pope died and they went to Rome for the funeral, the congregations and the conclave. Everyone knew it would be a contest between Angelo and Michael, and that Angelo had the edge. As it happened, it only took three votes and when the carmelengo announced, "Habemus papem!", out came....Michael McConnell.

Angelo was devestated. "How did this happen?" he wondered. He went to a senior cardinal, who rebuffed him because of the vow of secrecy. But Angelo insisted and pleaded with him to know why Michael was chosen over him. "After all, everyone knew I had the edge over him."

Finally, the senior cardinal yielded to Angelo's entreaties. "Well, Angelo, it was like this," he said. "When it came down to it, we just could not bring ourselves to vote for someone who would be named Pope Secola."